Truth…Beauty…Freedom…Love

I should have gone to school yesterday instead…pero ok narin kasi at least mas marami akong nakuhang classcards ngaun..my grades are good…praise the Lord Almighty! Sayang talga!!!He was there yesterday and my dear friend saw him!!! Wala lang…miss ko na kasi sya talaga! Never ko na sya ulit nakita!!! Actually may intentions ako pumunta yesterday kaso bigla naman akong inatake ng katamaran…naku kung di lang sana ako tinamad…haaaaay!!!!!!!sana kasing bilis ng bullet train ang bus o kaya naging Charmed One nalang ako para nung nalaman ko nakapunta kagad ako sa skul!!! Ang daya talaga!!!!!!!!!!!! kaso nakakatakot din kasi ano kaya ang magagawa ko kapag nakita ko nga sya ulit…Sana wag nman ung exag pati dyahe…dapat may poise parin…harhar…o kaya, wat if by any chance ay mabasa niya ito??? Lagot… E bakit ba?!! nasa kanya namn un kung anung gagwin niya pag nabasa niya ito. A bsta ako, kahit anong mangyari, i’l stick to my game. This is how it is and I’m just showing it…hehe..haay naku makikita rin kita…stalker ako remember?joke lang! sus, bahala na no..magkita kung magkita…kung hinde e di hinde..bwahahahahaha

So here it goes, it’s summer… School is out…and I should be out there having fun (somewhere FUN…)…Apparently, that isn’t happening; but I’m still having fun though… I’m home all the time now and that just makes me reallllllly bored. But come to think of it, after all those busy days and nights that I can’t even eat and sleep right, I’m finally here doing nothing…Oh well…Looking at the bright side of BOREDOM, maybe I’m not really bored at all…now that didn’t make sense! Or I guess it does…I mean, i’m really lazy to go out somewhere.Home is where my kind of stuff is. My cd’s are here, my parents go to the early which means I get to play really loud music so early in the morning…My keyboards’ here..I can do some crazy freestyle whatever on it and no one would even care, my books are here (well not those school books) and most of all, the TV is here…i get to watch those movies I hadn’t seen in a long time, or I hadn’t seen yet…Haha..so there it is…I’ve got things to do at home to "de-bore" me, still, I still crave for something new… something i would never forget that it ever happened this summer…gosh…i must be crazy…

At ako ngayo’y muling nagbabalik mula sa matagal na pagkakahimlay…

Ganito kasi un, mejo matagal rin akong hindi nakapagpost dito dahil sa isang nakalulunos na pangyayari… SUSPENDED ang internet account namin. Pano ko nalaman? matapos ang ilang trial ko ng pagkonek, ayaw talaga. Naisip ko na baka na-cut na nga ang account namin so tumawag ako sa hotline nila…ayun na nga raw, suspended nga dahil sa laki ng excess usage ko!!! dko na sasabihin kung magkano inabot… basta…malaki…buti na lang at d ako masyado pinagalitan ng nanay ko dahil na-shock sya sa inabot ng excess billing namin. Bakit nga ba kasi umabot ang lahat sa ganun? Masyado kasi akong nag-enjoy sa pag-oonline nitong mga huling linggo to the point na halos mag-uumaga na e online parin ako. Actually d rin naman me masyado nag-eenjoy kasi d parin kami magkasalisi sa net ng hinihintay ko.

Speaking of, eto may isa pa akong storya…Nung isang araw ng pagpunta ko sa skul, e lumabas kmi ng aking mga gal pals… badtrip kasi kung kelan ako nakatsinelas papuntang skul e saka naman umulan…kadiri nga akong umuwi kasi putikan na nga ako, may natapakan pa akong gum na kulay green sa bus….eeewww…Ulan…ang drama ng hapong iyon kasi kulang na lang ay mag-MTV ako sa kalye habang naglalakad, nag-iisip, nakapayong at nagtatampisaw sa ulan… Bigla akong may naalala…nakakainis dahil ba’t ko pa kasi naalala un. Tapos may dinaanan kami na isang lugar sa aming paaralan…naalala ko ulet,kasi napatingin ako sa lugar ko san nagsimula ang lahat ng ito. Hindi naman malungkot ung naalala ko, ang saya ko nga dahil naaalala ko un.kaya lang, e ano naman ngaun kasi kung maalala ko?! may magagawa ba ako? wla lang diba…

So ayun na nga, ang buong araw na yon ay nagpaalala lang sakin ng isang masayang bagay (nga ba?). Sayang lang kasi parang hanggang dun nalang din un. Ngayong bakasyon, sa bahay lang ako at sana wag ko naman maalala ng maalala ng mga bagay na yon dahil nakakainis lang. Sa ngayon, iisipin ko na lang na…"it’s not meant to be…" Siguro, nagkataon lang na may isang friendly na tao ang nakilala mo at ganun lang un. Friends. Ganun naman dapat diba?

Hindi naman ako sad…pero hindi rin ako ganun kahappy about it…Pero happy parin ako kasi tapos na ung sem and it ended well for me. I can sleep longer now…I can watch movies and read novels again…I should love this…

O sya, hanggang sa muli..sana magcomment naman ang mga taong magbabasa nito…ehehehehe…

sa wakas natapos na ang mga gagawin…pwede nang pa-easy-easy…bakasyon na rin ako sa wakas…kaya lang…mukang mababaliw ako sa bahay…ngaun pa lang kasi parang gusto ko na ulit pumasok…may mamimiss kasi ako…haha…syempre mamimiss ko mga friends at professors ko!!! echos…bakit ganun??? magkakagusto na nga lang ako, dun pa sa parang hindi pwede… bakit hindi pwede? kasi hindi ko naman sya madalas nakikita,tapos pag nakita ko naman siya, dun pa sa time na nagmamadali kami pareho kaya un, d pa tatagal ng 10 minutes.i really like this person…i want to know this person more. i don’t know why i like this person or how i’ve come to like him.i don’ t know how to deal with this.this "feeling" has to go…but i’m not letting it…bahala na…

kanina pa tayo magkasama
umaga na pala,
maya maya lang ay may araw na
kahit tayo'y pagod, buong mundo ay tulog
ikaw at ako,
derederetso lang walang pakialam

kwentuhan lang wala namang masama
oh usap lang, ibaon muna sa limot ang lungkot

tatawa tayo sabay seryoso
unti unti kang nakikilala,
ang sarap sarap mo palang kasama
dati kasi, tahimik ka lang palagi
ngunit ngayong gabi,
parang kay rami mo ng sinabi

... dahil gusto kitang makilala't makasama

umaga na tulog ka na
kay himbing mong managinip
kay sarap sarap mong umidlip
uwi na kaya ako? o dito muna siguro?
samahan muna kita
dahil parang ayaw mong mag-isa

samahan ka, wala namang masama
kung samahan ka,
hanggang lungkot ko'y makatulog din

Somethin’ in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There’s somethin’ in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong
It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong

I admit that I am not a risk taker. I made a lot of mistakes in the past and I certainly hate repeating them…I can be totally obsessive compulsive over things.I developed this sort of defense mechanism (psych 10???) so I won’t get hurt again by anything or anyone.Apparently it works for me.

However, there are still some things you can’t control…Some things just come unexpectedly. I never thought I’d feel like this again.It feels like I’m back to the old me…I’m being vulnerable again. I hated the idea that I’m preparing myself to get hurt again. It’s not like I’m saying that I won’t get hurt again. I mean…"Gimme a break!!!" I’m not a masochist…

It scares me that at this moment that I’m starting to feel such feelings again, I suddenly become capable of doing crazy stuff…Suddenly, I became an artist— I got the inspiration I lost so long ago…I did this art thing, it was really pathethic but that’s what I wanted to people to see. Now, I write again…I stopped writing about stuff happening to me because I thought nothing was really happening…Until now… What more can I do? Hmmm…I don’t wanna think again about…You don’t wanna know…haha…

Let’s just put it this way, I’m really happy right now…The timing may not be right, or the reason may not be worth it, but…who cares?! It’s not everyday that I feel like this…